“Just do it, it’ll look good on your college apps!”- a line from your parents’ that I’m sure you’ve grown all too familiar with. These days, it seems like everyone is in a race to reach success as quickly as possible. It is difficult to feel like you are doing enough because the new generation of children are all focused on being the best. I mean, props to whoever gets bragging rights about the small business they started at the ripe age of three, right? Parenting is less about setting up children for joy and success; now it is a competition of which parent can produce a child with the most accolades at the earliest age.
The race towards success starts at a young age with music lessons. Why you ask? Because my parents said so. The instruments of choice were typically the violin or piano, never drums, guitar, or something exciting like that. In reality, all kids were taking music lessons, often from the same music teacher. I’m sure you can guess why: because of parents’ never-ending yapping while waiting to pick up their kids from elementary school. Therefore, it seemed like I was forced to do it to keep up with the Jones’. I never really had much of a choice. Parents get a vicarious satisfaction from showing off their kids’ talents at recitals and playing for family and friends. The only reason I tolerated recitals was because I got to pick out pretty dresses to wear. The boys, however, always wore suit jackets and dress shirts that were way too big for them. Probably because their mom thought it would be smart to save money AND leave tons of room for them to grow.
Parents often put their children in sports in the hope that they will find future success in high school (and hopefully a college scholarship to go with it). With the proliferation of college-committed athletes’ success stories, the reason kids are pursuing sports has become skewed. Children’s sports have changed, once filled with relaxed leagues for young kids to learn to love a sport, many programs are now competitive and cutthroat. It feels like every family is trying to get their children into sports early, to guarantee their future success.
I, for example, started playing golf at age six. It was fun at first. As the years progressed, it got more serious and became less enjoyable. The parents became more interested in how their kids scored against other kids, though they did not admit it. Golfing became about how the sport could help me get into college. It didn’t matter that I was only six- winning the match could determine whether I get into Harvard or not.
Let’s get to the good stuff like academics. Can you even qualify as a student if you aren’t in advanced math? It is not good enough to take math classes like “average” kids. Despite what my parents wanted, I had no intention of being the next Einstein. Never did, and never will. But of course, it is not my decision. My parents thought academic competitiveness was the right path. It is the “tiger parent” mentality. SINE and COSINE of this fraction over this fraction. What does it all mean? Unless you are going to be a mathematician or physicist, these complex equations all seem very impractical in the real world. I know for a fact that I will never use calculus in my life. So why are we taking such courses? Again, we are trying to fulfill our parents’ dreams.
This “tiger parent” mentality boils down to one thing: ensuring that we get into the top Ivy League or UC schools so that we can be successful doctors, lawyers, or engineers. It feels like we are on a futile search for our parent’s validation, so easily driven to the brink of mental exhaustion by the rarely-heard words, “I’m proud of you.” But the truth is that, in the end, the only person you are obligated to make proud is yourself.