Although this particular interview was originally supposed to discuss David Cosca and Paige Crawford’s friendship… we quickly found a more complicated situation. It is hard to summarize the exchange that happened, and do know that the following transcript does not do the moment justice.

DC: Do you show us what goes in beforehand? 

CH: We can? 

PC: It’s typically not protocol-

*the door to room 220 flies open. Jessica Laurence enters.*

JL: HOW DARE YOU! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
DC: It’s not what it looks like…

JL: What is this? Is this an interview about friendship?!?

DC: We were talking about-

JL: FRIENDS?!

PC: This is unprofessional.

JL: I FEEL HURT. 

DC: We were talking about test scores, I swear! It’s not what it looking like. 

JL: THE AUDACITY OF YOU TWO! THE AUDACITY. Are you interviewing them as best friends?!?

PC: Mhm.

DC: It means nothing to me… I swear.

JL: I’m out of breath! I just came in to have a friendly chat because I thought you [DC] and I were friends! I thought YOU [PC] and I were friends! But I guess it means nothing…

PC: I did appreciate the donut though.

JL: You’re welcome.

PC: Would you like to join? 

JL: Oh gosh, I would but I have to go do a panel. How’s the interview going? 

OB & CH: It just started.

*laughter ensues*

JL: Fantastic.

DC: I do want to point out when I told her [JL] this was happening and she said something to me that is not publishable but you might want to publish it. 

OB: *moves to stop recording*

DC: No, no, no, leave it on! She said, “I’m gonna grab that [blank] by the hair and say ‘you dirty [blank]’”. And so-

PC: That sounds more like [Cosca’s] words. 

DC: Can you put that in the paper? “I’m gonna grab that [blank] by the hair and say ‘you dirty [blank]’”? Because the public have the right to know the truth.

JL: Because I’m right.

DC: And then – listen because it gets worse – she tried to coerce me to not do [this interview].

PC: She was threatened by our friendship.

DC: She’s a very controlling and manipulative friend.

PC: Yes, this is not a good life for you. 

CH: Would you say it’s a little toxic? 

DC: YES! Can you put “controlling and manipulative” in the paper?
PC: Oh and “friend” should be in quotes. Because true friends would’ve been part of the interview, so I want those air quotes.

JL: Wow… so Ms. Crawford’s the true friend and I’m just this side friend.

PC: You ARE a side friend.

JL: I’m just this side friend that you want to sweep underneath the rug. The side friend that’s just *vaguely gestures* over there! I see how it is. I see how you treat me. Talk about toxic. Toxic right here *points to Crawford and Cosca* You want to say anyone is toxic behavior? Look at the finger. Toxic right here.

PC: This isn’t fair. I feel like he’s playing at both of us as friends. I feel like this *loosely gestures towards Cosca* is actually the problem.

OB: So are you two [PC & JL] the true besties? 

JL: I do think so.

PC: Yes…

DC: I think the way it really works is this: anytime two of us become too close, then the other one tries to get some leverage. It’s a constant competition-

PC: *laughs* Leverage makes it sound like blackmail’s involved. 

DC: It’s a constant competition to try and control the situation. 

*sounds of agreement*

OB: Good to know.

PC: So… what questions did you have for us? Where do we go from here?

CH: How did you all meet and become friends? 

DC: I mean, work. You know what this is interesting because I’ve been here 5 years, BUT-

PC: We [PC & JL] go far back.

DC: Yeah they’ve known each other longer, and so I guess I’m the one who split that. 

PC: Of course, yes.

DC: BUT she told me not that long ago that she didn’t think much of me at first… and she didn’t have a very high regard for me. That’s what she said! I don’t remember the exact words-

PC: Well…

JL: I mean, look at the track record of this department. 

PC: Well it’s hard to make friends in this department when they’re in their first year because you just never know how long they last. His first year.. it was right before covid, [or] was it COVID? 

DC: It was the year of COVID.

PC: It was the year of COVID! Why would I get invested? 

DC: That’s fair. I’m just answering the question. 

PC: And I’m just trying to explain!

JL: Well, I will let you two to have your moment… I see how it is! My feeling have been hurt! I would like that to be ON the record! My feelings are hurt, the day before spring break, and now I’m going to spend the whole spring break thinking about this interaction. Good day!

PC: Good day.

JL: I said good day! 

*Door slams shut*

DC: The third year we had the same prep and that’s how we met. That’s how we started getting to know each other.

PC: Yeah, we would hang out during our prep period. 

DC: I didn’t know her at all the first two years, because the first year teaching nobody cares about the first year teachers. I know that to be true from other places I’ve worked. And the second year was the COVID year so I was off campus. 

PC: And I went on maternity leave so I wasn’t even here. 

DC: But the third year we had the same prep so we would just start chatting and we started helping each other out with stuff. With advice and things like that.

PC: Life advice. 

DC: School advice. 

OB: What’s your favorite thing to do together?

DC: …talk?

PC: Yeah…

DC: There’s really not much else to do. We’d just try to make each other laugh. And we do also have a lot of professional conversations. It’s a difficult job and we’re constantly seeking out each other’s advice on various things. 

PC: And we have a similar sense of humor. 

DC: So it’s those two things.

*murmurs of agreement*

CH: Do you guys talk in this room or…? 

DC: I usually go and bother her.

PC: He usually bursts in there and I think that’s the thing all my students recognize his beautiful face because it lives under my document camera. Please let the record show that that exists.

DC: [It’s] because she comes [to school] first in the morning so unless I have some really burning, pressing issue to deal with, I’ll go in there and bother her. You know, procrastinate. Sometimes you need that. 

OB: Should we start with the cringey BFF questions?

CH: Oh sure. We got Teen Vogue for the other [interview], but I think you guys get a better one. 

OB: Yeah, an upgrade.

CH: What does it mean to be a good friend? 

DC: Do you want to start or do you want me to start? 

PC: You can start.

DC: I mean being able to trust someone and being able to rely on someone. I know that if there’s something wrong or I’ve got a major problem, cause with this job there’s constantly things going wrong. Or not super wrong, but you feel like you make mistakes. And sometimes you need another perspective. I know that I can trust her and I know that I can rely on her. I’ve had times where I’ll just text her.

PC: “What do I do??”
DC: One of the first times I got her number from someone and said I need your advice. I didn’t even really know her, but I think that’s one of the first times, [when] it was a major thing. She talked me through it and she helped me out.

PC: I would say for me, a sense of humor. I think that’s why we are such good friends and that’s why with Ms. Laurence as well, we all have a similar dark sense of humor and we all swear a lot. 

DC: It’s true.

PC: And I think that can be a lot for some people. Like having a dark sense of humor and “I like to swear in my free time,” and that can be overwhelming. 

DC: Yeah I agree and being able to laugh with someone is really important. Not having something to laugh at at work can suck really bad. 

CH: Do you guys have any inside jokes that COULD go on record? 

PC: No.

DC: No. I dont think any of it is publishable.

PC: Yeah, it’s not publishable. 

DC: Most of the inside stuff is stuff that like… it’s got to be secret. I mean, most inside stuff is inside stuff for a reason. 

…

OB: Do you guys think that you would be friends in high school? 

PC: No. 

DC: I kind of doubt it.

PC: *laughs* No. 

OB: Why not?

DC: We would have had very different interests. 

PC: Different friend groups.

DC: When yo’re making friends in high school, it’s mostly based on things like interests.

PC: Or at least perceived interest. I feel like I was in a lot of groups where I sort of just followed things. 

DC: I think you would’ve thought that I was just a scumbag. Just a useless, just gross person. 

PC: Were you gross? 

DC: No no no, no. I don’t mean gross like physically gross. Just like “what’s wrong with that guy?”. I’m assuming that would be her reaction to me.  

OB: and what would you think of Ms. Crawford? 

DC: I’d rather not say. 

PC: I was probably a little uptight. I was probably a little too into school and a little too, like *shushing motion*

DC: Yeah I didn’t take school seriously at all. I hated high school. That right there would have made me think, “what the hell is wrong with her.”

CH: Are there any dealbreakers that you actively don’t want in friends?

PC: I just don’t want someone too serious all the time.

DC: I think I agree with that. I’m trying to think of something… dishonesty? I’m coming back to the flip side. People that are dishonest. I mean, everyone’s dishonest to an extent, but some people you get to know them after a while and just they’re a liar. That transparency matters to me. Because I think that most human beings are capable of just… the most vile deceptions [imaginable].

OB: Can you guys think of any of your favorite memories or moments together?

CH: If there are any specific ones.

DC: I don’t know man, it’s mostly just every day. We can make each other life. Are there any…?

PC: No.

DC: I can’t think of any particular thing that just made us think “oh, that was so fun.” I think a lot of our friendship is making what would otherwise be-

PC: A potentially dull, humorless space something more interesting.

DC: Yeah, because like I’ve said, this is a pretty difficult job. 

PC: I think it’s nice for our students to see that we’re friends because I think it humanizes us to a degree. A little bit. 

DC: But I don’t remember there being [anything] because it’s more of just an accumulative [thing].

PC: Yeah, we hang out every day here. 

DC: More or less.

PC: Sometimes we’re busy.

DC: Well it’s usually me, because you’re [PC] very well planned out. Or sometimes I show up pretty late because I’ll start teaching at 5th period. 

*This interview has been edited for length and clarity.