I bet 90% of people don’t even know the point of Halloween. I sure don’t. Legend has it that people wore costumes to ward off ghosts and disguise themselves from evil spirits. I mean, how many real documented spirits have we seen in modern society today? 

     Weren’t we taught not to take candy from strangers? Yet on October 31st we parade the streets begging for candy from every stranger we can find. So how did the candy-giving trend start in the first place? You end up throwing away half the candy you bring home. For example, all those tootsie rolls you get every year. They just taste like chocolate-flavored cardboard! But they sure do act as good fillings for your cavities. What I don’t like is when you put out a bowl of candy while you go trick-or-treating and some punk kids come and take the whole bowl of candy. All that money spent so they can steal it all. Also, why bother collecting candy when you can just buy it? Oh wait, maybe you’re broke. But hold on… how can you afford a costume?

    Let’s talk a little bit about costumes now. What a nightmare. They’re cheap, they’re expensive, and you only wear them once. Who’s excited to suffocate themselves with a mask that you can barely see out of? And if the point of wearing costumes is to ward off evil spirits, why are people dressing up like Barbie and Ken? 

     When a lot of us were little, we dressed in cute, fun costumes. You’d see little Spiderman carrying his jack-o-lantern candy bag chasing after his Minnie Mouse sister. But as people get older, the costumes get smaller. If you’ve ever watched the show Mean Girls, you might remember where Cady said: “In girl world Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total sl*t and no other girls can say anything about it”. As the next generation approaches, it scares me to think about what cosplaying we’ll be seeing in our neighborhoods.

    People like to watch scary movies during this time. Like that famous movie Halloween. I don’t even know what series number they’re on anymore. Jason’s got to be over 100 years old now, and he’s going around killing people in a wheelchair. The other popular movie is Chucky. You have this two-foot doll running around stabbing people to death. And nobody seems to be able to just kick him over. Like Jason, Chucky never seems to die.

     In all honesty, Halloween is one of the most fun holidays. Wait… can I even call it a holiday? We don’t even have a day off. I do admit that it’s fun to go out at night and trick-or-treat with friends. It’s awesome seeing all the creative costumes from toddlers to adults. The tradition will never get old, as families always find a way to make Halloween fun for their kids and themselves.