The shouts of “PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!” echo through the weight room as a group of high school students commandeer the bench press, locked in a three-hour pursuit of personal glory. With each lift, they cheer on their fellow ‘gym bros’ in a quest to achieve the ultimate benchmark: a 95-pound personal record (PR). 

     A gym bro is the most dedicated type of person that spends their life meticulously tracking their caloric intake and precisely working out specific parts of their muscles by picking up and putting down weight, just to look bigger for 10 minutes. 

     To become a gym bro, one must dedicate themselves to a diet consisting of only protein shakes, chicken breasts, and rice. Their life is centered around lifting weights, flexing in every mirror, and wearing a tank top to enhance their muscles, as if he’s trying to intimidate someone with just eye contact.

    Gym bros also have a distinct taste in music. They force themselves to listen to aggressive phonk, a genre of music that helps a gym bro go through his villain arc (he got rejected by a girl and is using the pain from the rejection as motivation) so he can have a more effective workout.

     The “villain arc” gym bros go through is nothing to laugh at. Gathering the very little courage you have to talk to the girl of your dreams only to get rejected, is the greatest incentive to work out that a gym bro could ask for. Gym bros use their time in the gym to “bounce back” and look better to make her regret her decision.

     Aspiring to be the next Mr. Olympia (winner of the men’s professional bodybuilding contest), gym bros spend every single penny they have on a variety of protein powders and creatine, consuming it like a drug. Dedicating everything they have to look stronger and better so they can attract women, only to find out that they attract more men instead; other aspiring gym bros ask them for advice, which leads to having more men in their direct messages (DMs) instead of women.

     During their sets, gym bros have the most respectful gym etiquette, from grunting while performing every rep to hoarding machines and leaving their sweat stains on the benches for when the next person uses it. The most respectful aspect when training with a gym bro is when they share their workout routine by doing the same exercise as you but with twice the weight and with louder grunts to make sure you know who is superior.

     However, some individuals (referred to as ‘Karens’) mistakenly believe the gym should be a quiet space, when in reality it is reserved for those who prioritize training the chest muscles instead of working out their legs. Gym bros, however, see the noise complaints from Karens as a sign of respect for the tremendous amount of weight they are lifting.

     “I feel like the gym has been a place for grunts for years and has been turned into a library.” Gym bro and junior at Monte Vista High School Beau Lopez said. “ I make sure to grunt every time I outlift someone.” 

        Asserting their dominance with their aggressive grunts and their 135lb squat PR, gym bros rule supremely over the weak with their frightening demeanor and impressive physiques. The sweat-filled and heartbroken life is a path only the strong-willed walk down; the path of a gym bro.